Updated: Oct 14, 2021
Over the course of the 8 years Leroy and I have been together, I can honestly say that we have learned a lot from each other. However, when we got married, although the transition from being bf and gf to fiancé and fiancée to now being husband and wife was very smooth for us and not too many things changed, there were a couple important lessons we had to learn early in our marriage. These lessons have not only helped us to become closer but also kept us grounded in how we raise our child (and any future children) along with building a life together. I can definitely tell you that we have evolved a lot as a couple during these past two years.
I wanted to share two lessons I have personally learned from my 2 years of marriage with you (whether you yourself are married as well or if you're in a committed relationship). I hope that you can learn from my experience and help strengthen your own relationship.
1. Be grateful
This is something I actually learned from Leroy while we were still in the bf/gf phase of our relationship. I always considered myself a grateful person but I still tended to dwell on the negative stuff more rather than look toward the positives. Continuing to be grateful while in a relationship seems easy enough but sometimes you can forget to show gratitude, especially for the small stuff. By expressing gratitude to your partner, you let them know that you see them and acknowledge the effort they make - at the end of the day, you don't want them feeling like they're being taken for granted. From my public expressions of love and gratitude to Leroy for all he has done and continues to do on a daily basis, people may feel like I'm putting my husband on a pedestal... but I want to make my husband feel like the king he is! After all, big man treats his wife like a queen eh! Lol! So let me shower my whoooole man with adoration and words of affirmation. Come on now!
2. Have a sense of individuality within your marriage
"You are one and you are separate" - Since Leroy and I got married, this quote just hits differently. You and your partner are not the same person and you aren’t supposed to be. In marriage, you must learn to balance being yourself, an independent person, while still being interdependent with your spouse. As I've said before in my previous blog posts - it's so easy to get wrapped up in all the hats you wear - being a partner, parent, entrepreneur...or whatever else - but you must remember that time to yourself is important as well. Even in a relationship, it's great to have goals and do activities together, however, you also need time and space to pursue your own goals or hobbies or interests as an individual. My interests separate from Leroy include blogging, catching up on my various tv-series, reading and exercising (which I should do more of), among other things. This lesson is extremely important and will follow you throughout your relationship and marriage.
These two lessons may seem small, obvious and easy to do but it's always the small things that make the biggest difference in the long run, especially when it comes to marriage. Marriage is a partnership and it is work, but with the right person, it will be enjoyable work. Listen to each other, respect each other, be honest and everything will fall into place.