• Brinnelle Kelly-Simmons

"Relationship Goals" - Compliment?

Updated: Nov 22, 2021

"Relationship Goals" is a term that has been loosely thrown around on social media for those seemingly perfect couples (married or not). It’s mostly reserved for those celebrity relationships or basically any couple who looks perfect together. People look up to these couples so much so that if they breakup (and in some circumstances they do), it is unfair to the universe... Love nothiiing!


Since Leroy and I met on social media and persons witnessed our relationship blossom from flirting on the timeline to now married with a child, a few of them have referred to us as "Couple Goals" or "Relationship Goals". Now, I know this label is usually given with good intent and most would see this as a compliment and to be quite honest initially I did too, but as I grew older (and wiser), I have a different outlook on this title. Why?

Because the relationship goals we see are basically just fluff! They're surface level goals! All the picture perfect wedding photos and happy travelling photos - as cute as these pictures are (and I have to admit, Leroy and I have quite a few of those) - they do not equate to a happy marriage; they really don’t give the right impression as to what marriage is all about.

Marriage is the ultimate partnership and involves a lot of effort, patience and service to your partner... most of which many persons today find difficult to do. I mean… there have been times in just our 2 years of marriage (hell! there were a couple times within the past year) when Leroy would’ve given 110% in our relationship when I could’ve only given 40%… and vice versa. It isn’t always easy but I can say it is worth it, especially when you have someone who is just as committed to your marriage as you.


So we really need to stop holding couples to this imaginary and frankly, unattainable standard, especially since many people's idea of relationship goals end up disappointing them. We really don't know what goes on behind the closed doors of people's marriages. I mean... Look at Will and Jada, Kim and Kanye... Miguel and Nazanin! At some point, the world was up in arms at each of their breakups, meanwhile they had already dealt with their issues privately and moved on. If you think about it, Bobby and Whitney were probably considered relationship goals some years back... and look how that turned out.


A marriage with two imperfect persons coming together can never be perfect, however, you can create your version of perfect. Create your own relationship goals like, for example, never go to bed angry with each other, pray together every morning, always be honest with each other even if it hurts, save for a specific goal together, etc etc etc. You get what I’m saying??Because when you build something incredible together, something that involves selflessness, commitment and love, you can truly say you've reached (your version of) relationship goals.


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