Let me tell you guys, a lot of people were angry with Leroy and I for keeping our pregnancy private. It’s the audacity for me! They really thought that we would be broadcasting our pregnancy from the rooftops during a time when there was so much tension in the world (COVID-19, Black Lives Matter protests/riots, General Elections, etc etc etc.). It was an easy decision to keep this part of our lives close to our chests, mainly to protect us and my mental health, especially since this would be our first child.
Everyone knows that when a woman is pregnant, it’s one of the most vulnerable times in her life. Not only do you have a great amount of hormones coursing through your body (which affects your mental and emotional state), but it is also during this time that persons, specifically older women, want to volunteer a lot of unsolicited and mostly negative advice and information. I remember I made the mistake of telling one of my family friends (who usually looks out for me a lot) my birth plan 2 weeks before my due date. Remember I was supposed to have a water birth at a birthing center? Well, this woman proceeded to tell me how her daughter wanted to do that as well and when the time came, SHE ALMOST DIED!!! Now, imagine that this convo lasted just about half an hour, and I did about 10% of the talking. I understand that in her mind, she was just trying to be helpful, but in reality, she transferred all the fear she experienced with her daughter onto me TWO weeks before my child was due to be born. I started to overthink, I got anxious, I made myself extremely sad. Did I make the right decision to have the baby in a birthing center vs having her at a hospital? What if something bad happens? What if... I die? These things bothered me for a good while, especially since my mother (who was comfortable with the idea of the birthing center at first) decided that she herself wanted to begin doubting our decision to have the baby there as well. WTF?!?! Two weeks before the baby was due to be born!!! So can you imagine my mental and emotional state leading up to what is supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life?? Sigh.
Thank God my husband, being the patient and supportive person he is, he reminded me that we did in fact think this decision through; we made this decision knowing all the risks and no matter what happens, everything will be fine. After talking with that family friend, we were extremely happy that we made the decision to keep our pregnancy private because, well, can you imagine if everyyyybody knew about this baby? We would've been bombarded with everyone and their aunty cousin sister's birth story.
To those persons who thought that I kept this pregnancy a "secret" I tell them it was no secret. I didn't hide my pregnancy from anybody. I just didn't volunteer that I was pregnant to anyone. If you saw me in person, you would've known, but I wasn't going out of my way to say "Hey! I'm pregnant!" That's weird as hell lol! Only important persons or those extremely close to Leroy and I knew about our baby. Other than that, y'all needed to mind ya business aite!
Photos credit: Kyle Archibald (IG: @kylearchibaldphoto)